Cancer

Back in my memory of my Maternal Grand mom , she was the closest kin that I first had, more than anything that I felt for my own parents .

When she had cancer , I was in primary school. No one could understand any thing about cancer that time . But all the adults seemed to understand that one day soon she will go before her appointed time . When it was known of her cancer , it was already stage 3 . Stage 4 is the last stage and usually comes swifter than any one would expect . Add on factor was her advanced age .
When she passed on, my world crashed and remained dark for a long time .

When I finally slipped out of my parents house and went to a church , attended the first cell meeting at church , got to know some friends. The next time , I was told that one of the sisters barely 21 , she had cancer too. She died shortly after I saw her the 3rd time at the hospital. That time , she had stage 4 cancer. She seemed to accept the fact that she could return earlier to the Lord, and she had refused any form of healing prayer .

For me , barely could comprehend death and have to witness another bout of cancer from a sister at church , had drive me into the furthest end in the dark. For a longest time , I had been in circles , I had Resented God and Raged at Him for a long long time . I had asked why should they have cancer and die ? How is it that modern day medical technology can not save them?

My answer didn't come until this year when I meet a new friend, Serene . She is a intercessor of sorts . She had prayed for me and I had a in my bones kind of answer that I had asked that question all those years ago.

It was time for them and being with the Lord is a better rest than being on earth . It is in His time, not our choosing.

It took me some time to digest this word . He gave me his peace to trust this word .

Over these 7 months , the Lord has showed me every step to trust him . Every step to draw from him. He reminded me that all the requirements that the law needs, it is fully accomplished on the cross.
These 7 months , I've grown exponentially compared to the previous years .
I'm also having bible class on the book of Acts of the apostles , it showed me that besides my salvation, I should also look at my whole body, behaviour, my actions and my words.
Am I sanctified In all that I do? Am I saying what the holy spirit wants me to say? Is my behaviour contrary to my words ? Am I angry at any one ? Have I ask for forgiveness from all that I've sin against? Are there any secret sins that I should address ?

For past 3 years that I've lived at my own house, I've planted many plants, most didn't survive. Through these seeds and plants , I've received one simple insight. It is about the parable of seeds that Jesus said and told about.
The seeds are all of us. We are planted on many types of soil. Some grow well with sufficient watering. Some were planted on rocks and they wilt once the sun is up. Some were on sand , try grow but wilt. Some were planted in soil but didn't receive water.
Water can mean Jesus's living water, normal meals, the word of Lord. The environment could be the world we see, the things we perceived.
What nutrients we take , can't be changed . But when we make a choice to be rooted in the Lord, that's when the situation changes.

I had often wondered if my Grand mom had known Jesus ? That would have been a great comfort for me.
I had also wondered about that sister in heaven, is she truly happy ? I know I missed them .

I remember Book of Job , he was tested by Satan, even though God knows Job is the most righteous man and God fearing in fact of all East. Job had a good number of years with God. Job lost Everything over night: 10 children, all his estate, all business associates broke contact, became a outcast due to his skin condition. His surviving wife ask him to curse God and be granted death. Yes the Satan will come against any one . But do you want to exercise your rights as Sons and Daughters of God through Faith? We can order Satan out of our situations .
Job has cellular decompostion/decay , so does cancer. Even as the situation does not immediately change, are you still believing in the Lord ? He has the first say on the creation of all of our lives , he had the last day on how we depart.
Job said should we only expect good things from God and not his sifting (admonishing and trials)?

What is your decision about the relationship about yourself and God today ? Make your stand clear.

Paul said it is a race with God . It requires understanding , stamina and trust. I've only began to run this race formally , and have many times on reflection, found the work of the Lord's traces in the words of friends, situations and messages from my studies ( it seems he has some dry humor ) ;-)

Many thoughts

In Ruth , today I learnt that Naomi had left her town of Bethlehem with her husband and get two grown sons . When her sons got married , she gained two daughters in law , Oprah and Ruth . When her husband died , her two sons followed his way . Left with no money , no husband , no sons and no place to look forward in a foreign land , she told her daughters in law to re marry . Oprah left . Ruth stayed and she followed Naomi back to Bethlehem . in Bethlehem , Ruth had disappointment and desolation all over her mind . Ruth went out to glean from boaz 's field for all the harvest season . It was back breaking work to gather crops by hand . When Ruth gather a huge load of barley back home , Mara realised that Ruth could make use if the Leviticus law (kinsman redeemer )that Boaz could redeem Ruth. Boaz in the end agreed . And boaz and Ruth became the grand parents of King David .
Many times when sorrow, death ,difficulties really beset us, we might have really gave up all hope in the Lord . We may even became so grieved and resentful that we were blinded to see nothing of the Lord . The Lord has provided a way out , be it in lean times or use the law to show us a way out, or a helper like Ruth .

For any one reading , will you take this moment to review all that you have done and take your resolution with God and run this race with him ?

Embrace the unexpected and be with joy all days . The work may be hard but sleep will be sweet .

For me , there are many mysteries that I want to learn from the Lord . I will keep running this race with the Lord .